“You can be ordinary by getting away with less than your best. But if you want to be a great, you have to give it all you’ve got- your everything.”
- Duke P. Kahanamoku

Joshua Nilsen Photography
When I was 9 years old I was the tallest girl in my class by a head. I wore big pink eye glasses and rocked a crocked toothy grin that looked like a pile of Chiclets.
I was happy.
We did not own a television set, not even for movies. The Alaskan wilderness was my backyard and rain or shine I was off exploring my environment, discovering tiny universes in the muskeg and enjoying the sensation of being a dirty little girl. I investigated every tree, bush, and bug. I would hike off into the great outdoors and snuggle up in in one of my outdoor forts to read Judy Blume and Sweet Valley High books. My appetite for adventure was insatiable and being bored never even occurred to me. I felt relaxed and confident knowing I was going to be somebody important…someday.
A chime sounded over the loud speaker in Mrs. Foster’s third grade classroom to signal recess. I was always one of the first out the doors and running! For the next 30, glorious minutes I would race around the playground. I climbed up the slide and dove down head first to feel the rush. I swung from the monkey bars and pumped my legs on the swing set. I reached my tipie toes toward the stars. Other than lunch, recess was my favorite activity of the day.
My friends and I piled together after recess sweaty, laughing and poking fun at one another. The kids at school didn’t care about my big pink glasses or my silly smile. My buddies in third grade didn’t even mind straining their necks to whisper secrets in my ear. I was a nerdy skyscraper, full of enthusiasm and big ideas. I was feeling the love.
I wonder when playing became exercise? And working out became a job? I think it happened in my early teens. I stopped having ideas and spent most waking hours worrying about, “are my thighs proportionate to the size of my head?”
In high school, playing outside turned into organized sports with rules and expectations. Instead of running around as fast as I could because it was fun, I started running as fast as I could after a basketball to earn a spot on the team. When we missed a shot or caused a turnover, our team ran up and down the stairs as punishment. I was told that to be successful I was going to have to learn to play by the rules. I packed up all my opinions and questions and listened to my coaches. If we lost a game my friends and I would sit in the lockeroom and feel the heavy burden of defeat with tears and our open hands slammed against locker doors. My first experiences with failure shook the foundation of my belief system and I started to wonder if I was really good enough?
In college I studied sport science and learned fitness testing protocol. It turned us all into numbers and formulas. I wanted to know the science so I could control my rebellious body. I memorized equations to determine how much food we can eat, how much time we should spend moving during the day, how fast our heart should beat to burn fat, the list goes on for miles. I learned about all the muscles and bones and their various functions and mechanisms. I began to notice people stacked into gyms, lit up with neon lights, running in place, starring into TV screens. I moved with them. I was going through the motions. Chest on Monday, Back on Tuesday, Legs on Thursday…. Exercise became a means to an end. It was no longer an adventure. I felt restless. Was this it? I wanted to experience something! I felt the rebel in me rising up. I got an idea.
I thought about my 8 year old self. Giving it my all everyday simply because it was fun. I wanted to reclaim the empowered bliss I felt as a kid. Knowing I was special and that my life had a unique purpose. Mostly I wanted to remind my teachers, clients, friends and family that all it takes to be our most ultimate selves is a little bit of imagination, a spirit of adventure and an unwavering belief in our very own “big” ideas.
The other night I paddled a 10 foot surf board out beyond some 2 foot waves. The water in Jaco is warm and the sunsets blow my mind. Costa Rica feels like home. My personal paradise on the Pacific. My house is surrounded by jungle and waterfalls. I strive to discover something new about myself every day, like how to build a really great website and how to sing. I experiment with my flip camera to create fitness video projects and hang out with the local Tica surfer girls. I don’t feel itchy anymore. Now I just want to share.
* Fast forward to present time (this was written a year ago). I am currently “playing” on one of the world’s most spectacular beaches in Tulum, Mexico at BIKINI BOOTCAMP Want to come experience the magic and feel like a carefree kid again?